Vice Principal UnOfficed
Join host Lisa Hill, a retired vice principal as she shares her funny, wild, and sometimes woeful public education school stories that will not only leave you feeling like you’re listening to a comedy special, but wondering how the American K12 educational system endures.
Hill is a former teacher, school counselor, college professor, and vice principal who never planned on having a career in education. But, thanks to her father, god rest his soul, she did!
So, listen in as Lisa Hill reveals the crazy and entertaining K12 school antics that she experienced during her lengthly career in public education And who knows? You might just pick up a little nugget of knowledge along the way.
Vice Principal UnOfficed
School Leaders Who Think They’re Great: A Comedy Special - Part 1
Have you ever been sent to the principal’s office? Or survived sitting through the school superintendent’s excessively long and monotonous graduation speech in which you just wanted to poke your eyeballs out ? Perhaps you questioned a vice principal’s total lack of common sense over an irrelevant discipline issue? Join host Lisa Hill for a 2-part episode as she dives into the unusual leadership skills some of her former bosses and colleagues used while attempting to manage the nut house, correction, school house. This is a comedy you won’t want to miss.
This episode is is part of Podcatathon, a global charity event where podcasters worldwide support nonprofits of their choice. Vice Principal UnOfficed is dedicating this episode to Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library.
Support a love for reading! 📚 Visit Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library to help provide free books to children and spark a lifetime of learning. ✨
Contact me through "Fan Mail", or
Email me: vpunofficed@gmail.com
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Resources used for Vice Principal UnOfficed can be found here.
Thanks for listening!
#KeepLaughing&Learning
Hey listeners, before I begin our Vice Principal Unauficed episode, I wanted to share that I am taking part in a podcast-a-thon, a global charity podcast event. I'm dedicating this episode to support Dolly Parton's Imagination Library because, being an old educator, learning to read is a cause close to my heart. So take a moment today and think about all the teachers in your life that helped you learn to read and expand your knowledge. And if you want to check out the Imagination Library's website, the web address is located on this episode's footer. Now let's begin. Hey folks, let me ask you a few questions. Have you ever been sent to the principal's office, or survived sitting through the superintendent's excessively long and monotonous graduation speech in which you just wanted to poke your eyeballs out? Or perhaps question a vice principal's total lack of common sense over an irrelevant discipline issue? Well, if you have, or if you haven't, join me, your host, lisa Hill, on today's episode of Vice Principal Unauficed. This is a two-part episode that I'll dive into the unusual leadership skills some of my former bosses and colleagues used while attempting to manage the nuthouse I mean schoolhouse. This is a comedy you won't want to miss. Now let's get laughing and learning. Attention students. Get laughing and learning. Attention students, I mean listeners.
Speaker 1:The stories in this podcast are told from the host's personal and varsical point of view. All names and identifiers have been omitted or altered to protect identities. Now get to class and enjoy the show. Welcome back to Vice Principal and Office. Can you believe we're already at the end of March?
Speaker 1:Time really does go fast the older you get. I mentioned that to a math teacher once they launched into this lengthy explanation of the proportional theory. He basically explained to me that time feels slower when you're 5 because one year is 20% of your life, but by the time you're 50, a year is only 2%. I get it Well, not the math equation part so much, but the idea makes sense. Of course, I can sum up the proportional theory in one sentence I've lived longer than I'm going to live. But I do have to tell you, since retiring, I feel great. I think it's because I'm no longer responsible for keeping a school up and running. Heck, at this point I may live to be 100. I mean, my mom is 90, and my dad? Well, cancer took him out at age 66. But thanks to my dad God rest his soul I had a long career in education. Remind me to tell you that story someday.
Speaker 1:Anyway, never in my life did I dream that I would become a vice principal. I mean, I thought I was one of the cool kids in high school that is, if any teenager in high school is even close to being cool. But I did play bass in a garage band with a few other kids I went to school with. We actually got paid to play for a school dance and in an arcade in a neighboring city, though I think we were only paid about five bucks a piece. Still, we were cool because we were kind of paid musicians. Don't believe me? Check out the photo I uploaded on my vice principal unofficed Instagram and tell me I don't look cool. Of course, our little rock band was no Motley Cr crew, but we did wear our sunglasses at night. That's a reference from Corey Hart's song for you youngsters. Google it if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh, youth, as for my life as a rock star, well, our garage band was. It was kind of like a well-timed fart. We made some rotten noise before quickly fading into oblivion.
Speaker 1:Oh Lisa, I'm facepalming right now. What'd you expect, mom? But I bet Dad and you were glad when I grew out of that 80s rocker phase, hair and attitude included, I think I'd better just move on. So, like I said, I never thought I'd actually become a vice principal because when I entered the world of teaching, I thought the people who were picked to be leaders in a school district had to be incredibly smart people who possessed outstanding leadership skills and had impeccable work ethic, or these geniuses of education would never have been bestowed the job of a head learner. But oh, my freaking gondola. Was I wrong? In fact, I was so wrong.
Speaker 1:This episode has two parts because I have way too much to share. Maybe you remember me saying in a previous episode a public school is a microcosm of society, meaning pretty much everything that happens in the real world happens in a school. It's just that a school can be better controlled. Well, on a good day, schools can be better controlled, or well, they're supposed to be better controlled. So, historically, having K-12 principals lead a public school became a common practice around the 1860s, and as K-12 education continued to evolve, different types of school leaders were needed to meet all the legislated requirements placed on a public school.
Speaker 1:I mean, there is no way, on this spinning ball of chaos thing that we call Earth. One leader could possibly complete all of the dumbass tasks school leaders are required to do by state and federal mandates. I mean no way, though I suppose a school leader could opt not to follow the mandates placed upon them. A failure to follow government requests would likely result in losing public funding, which might cost the school leader their job. Trust me, I've seen this happen before. So while our dear federal and state elected officials continue to make educational decisions on something they know so little about, like a child's educational needs, most of our dear school leaders do as they're told and keep their jerky jobs. Now we all know how well our civic leaders play with each other.
Speaker 1:I mean, it appears politicians bicker more about their own political and financial gain than ensuring a child gets the best education possible, while our poor K-12 educators stand outside the government wrestling ring, bewildered and a little shocked at the endless quarrel they see before them. I think it's kinda like watching Betta fish fight over who's got the better idea of how to command the submarine. But the educator octopuses occupy, occupy, whatever the correct plural word is sit patiently on the seafloor watching this strange fish fight, all the while knowing they're the ones who have the real game plan and the brains. Yeah, decisions made on K-12 education are kind of like that. Not to mention, fighting betta fish are usually males, so a huge thank you to those great K-12 school leaders who know how to sail around the fighting betta fish so children can continue to learn.
Speaker 1:I was lucky enough to work for some phenomenal school leaders. These people never let the bickering of the betta fish get in the way of student education. But for every awesome maritime captain of a school leader I've worked for, I have also worked for a handful of K-12 school leaders who probably should have just jumped overboard or taken a remedial skippers 101 course. Because there were quite a few times during my 38-year career that I felt like I was working on an episode of Gilligan's Island. 38-year career that I felt like I was working on an episode of Gilligan's Island. I so wanted to be the skipper who said come here, little buddy, and smack the Gilligan of a principle upside the head with my skipper hat. Oh wait, please tell me that no matter how old you are, you've watched at least one episode of Gilligan's Island. Oh, sherwood Schwartz's Gilligan's Island and the reason I love coconut cream pie. Thank you very much, marianne.
Speaker 1:Okay, where was I? Oh, oh yeah, I've also worked for some dimwitted school leaders who basically bobbed around the school like a blobfish. I'm serious people. I worked for one vice principal who actually incorporated bird seed into student discipline and another dude God rest his soul who made 180 peanut butter sandwiches and froze them in his freezer about a week before school started. Every single year, once the school year began, the guy would eat one peanut butter sandwich for lunch every day for the entire school year. I always wondered what his freezer looked like and what the last sandwich of the year tasted like and, as you can probably guess, for many years I was very entertained and I also learned a ton on what not to do when I became a school leader, which is why I called this episode School Leaders who Think they're Great A comedy special.
Speaker 1:No, I really wanted to call this episode. Some school leaders are so great they could win an award for best performance in a role they're not qualified for. Because I'm telling you people, you just can't make this shit up. Lisa M Sorry, mom, but you know it's true. Bam. Sorry, mom, but you know it's true.
Speaker 1:So as I started working on this episode, I tallied up all the school administrators I've worked for over the last 38 years, from superintendents all the way down to vice principals. I found it kind of amusing that I actually worked for more school leaders than the number of years I worked in K-12 education. I'm not kidding, for the total number of years I would work in a school district, I also worked for about the same number of administrators in that specific district. What I'm saying is, if I stayed at a school district for four years, I worked for three or four school administrators. You get the idea. So, if my calculations are correct and keep in mind that math is not my forte, despite my high school math teacher's best efforts God rest his soul but my calculations show I worked for 43 educational leaders in 38 years and I worked in multiple school districts.
Speaker 1:Hmm, I think that me seeth a problem, captain Nemo, am I the only one thinking that K-12 schools will never get their boat to full knots? That's speed for boats. See what I did. Anyway, boats won't get to full speed if they have to keep resetting their navigation course every few years. Think about it. I've worked for a lot of school leaders in short spurts of time, though, as you can probably guess, being a public school administrator is hard. In fact, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics, one out of every 10 school leaders have left public education since the 2021 school year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I know the pandemic changed things and I agree. And I'm afraid the pandemic changed the work of a school leader forever and not necessarily for the better. No wonder K-12 American education struggles to stay as one of the top 10 countries with the best K-12 education system in the world. School districts simply can't gain momentum if they keep rotating through school administrators. Yes, school leaders receive training to be a licensed school administrator, but very few school leaders can hit the ground running on day one, which seems to be expected in a system that is a microcosm of society. Sadly, being a K-12 school leader is at times scary and exhausting, so school leadership seems to remain somewhat status quo.
Speaker 1:It's that whole change thing. Public schools always seem to miss the mark when navigated needed change. And isn't it funny that K-12 schools seem to be about 10 years behind the rest of the world? I'm serious K-12 schools are always behind. They relate to the technology game, the security game, the environmental initiatives game. I could go on and on. At least that was my experience, which is a little alarming, don't you think? I mean? K-12 education exists so people have the knowledge to advance the world. Imagine what would happen in the United States if K-12 schools kept up with the changing world. Oh wait, that'll never happen because public schools have to wait for the bickering betta fish to make a decision.
Speaker 1:So why did I become a vice principal? Of all the jobs in the world, I picked the ultimate self-punishment I did. I stayed in school from 1969 to 2024. I never left K-12 school. Okay, there was college, but that was still school and I studied K-12 education. How scary is that.
Speaker 1:Speaking of scary and exhausting, I do have to tell you K-12 vice principals always seem to be stuck with the awful task of disciplining children, which is kind of funny because most K-12 district level administrators want their building leaders, like the vice principal, to be in the classrooms working with teachers. Or, as K-12 education would say, school leaders are instructional leaders first. The idea is that school administrators, like the vice principal, build the efficacy of teachers so students get to learn from the best, to which I say great. But what these district leaders fail to remember is that the number of children clearly outnumber the adults in a school building. So the idea that the vice principals are instructional leaders first is far from the frickin' truth, no matter what your district leaders tell you. Of course, the poor damn vice principals are still required to complete all the work piled on them by the district office. And then guess what happens? Well, it's one of three things. One vice principals look for shortcuts to get all their work done so they don't lose their job. Two, they take on a district leadership role. Or three, they leave education altogether. I'm serious, folks.
Speaker 1:I once got asked by district office administration how many unique student suspensions I'd issued. I think it was October and I suspended I don't know six kids, which was far less from other school buildings in the district, but most of the time I was the only administrator in the building district, but most of the time I was the only administrator in the building. So shut the hell up, district leaders. I was doing the best I could and, if you ask me, I did run that school pretty damn well all by myself, you know. I think I should finish my story about birdseed.
Speaker 1:One day when I was still teaching, I walked into the staff mail room and saw this kid standing at the counter sorting bird seed. Yep, actual bird seed. I looked at the kid completely confused. They just shrugged and said they couldn't stay after school for a detention. So the vice principal told them to sort bird seed instead, and not just any bird seed, it was the kind that's a mix of sunflower seeds, pine nuts and whatever else birds eat. The kid was literally standing there separating the bird seed into different bowls Sunflower seeds in one, pine nuts in another, like some kind of tiny, pointless assembly line. I had to go ask the vice principal if this was actually happening. They just laughed and said yep, that was the kid's detention.
Speaker 1:For the love of Evan Almighty, what kind of lesson can a kid learn from sorting bird seed? I'm not big on punishments unless they actually teach something. Kids' brains aren't fully wired yet and let's be real, when we know better, we do better or we're supposed to do better. So kids have to be taught how to act right. Trust me, folks, kids aren't taught all the good behavior stuff at home and, honestly, we don't do this to adults. If you turn your taxes in late, no one makes you sit in a room and alphabetize tax forms as punishment. No, they give you an extension and tell you where to get help. But for some reason we don't give kids the same kind of grace. So instead of being in class, this poor kid lost actual learning time because they were stuck in the mail room playing birdseed Tetris. Of course, this was the same vice principal who sorta understood that kids learn better when they're not starving, because it is true that children learn better when their tummies are full.
Speaker 1:But apparently this vice principal never read the federal rules about school meals because, according to the USDA quote, all national school breakfast and lunch program requirements are designed to provide age-appropriate meals to specific age and grade groups. For grades K-12, dietary specifications for calories, sodium and saturated fat are in place to limit the risk of chronic disease. End quote. Which basically means even if school food tastes like sadness, at least it's supposed to be nutritionally balanced. Sadness Seems simple, right Wrong.
Speaker 1:This birdbrain vice principal decided the school needed to feed students based on whatever random food item they found at Sam's Club. So what did they buy? A gallon jar of whole dill pickles. And since they obviously couldn't eat all those dill pickles by themselves, they came up with the genius idea to start feeding them to hungry kids at lunch. Now I'm no dietician, but I guess dill pickles have some nutritional value if you count a ridiculous amount of sodium as a benefit. But wait, there's more. The vice principal knew the dill pickle meal needed a side dish, and what pairs well with a giant salty pickle Potatoes of course Sounds delicious, right? Nothing like a lunch straight out of the Great Depression. Plus, the vice principal actually thought the potatoes would help put some weight on kids and bulk them up for sports, because you know that's totally how nutrition works.
Speaker 1:And, as you can probably guess, no public school has the funding to buy enough pickles and potatoes to feed an entire student body. So how does a school leader get their hands on massive amounts of free pickles and potatoes? Easy, you pull a character education program out of your ass, duh. Pull a character education program out of your ass, duh. Now there are actually research-based character education programs out there, things like Character Counts or Leader in Me you know programs with actual curriculum and data to prove they work. But the Vice Principal's new Pickles and Potato character education program, yeah, it had none of that. But did that stop our fearless leader? Of course not. Lack of school funding wasn't going to kill this grand vision. So the vice principal sat down and wrote letters to pickle and potato companies across the country asking them to support the school's new pickle and potato character education program. And despite the fact that there was zero research, zero data and zero logic behind this new P&P plan, the letter actually worked, and so, for the rest of the school year, a plethora of glass jar dill pickles just kept rolling in.
Speaker 1:My job was to hand them out at lunch, which I did with a puckered smile on my face. As for the potatoes, it took a little longer, but a potato company finally came through. They sent the school 400 pounds of sacked potatoes the day summer vacation started. But wait, there's more. A few weeks into summer break, more potatoes arrived, and by more I mean 12,000 pounds of potatoes, 12,000 pounds. What in the actual hell do you do with 12,000 pounds of potatoes? Now, if I remember anything from my eighth grade home ec class, it's that potatoes don't last all that long, especially not in a school without air conditioning. So what do you do with 12,000 pounds of potatoes? Simple, you start handing them out at summer high school events. Duh, so, all summer long, at every high school baseball game, softball game or summer athletic camp, the vice principal could be seen standing in the parking lot handing out five-pound bags of potatoes to families as they drove away.
Speaker 1:And let me tell you, the vice principal really believed this whole pickles and potato character education program was a huge success. You know, if you consider a program with no curriculum, no research and no actual proof that it works, a success. But by the end of the summer, reality finally set in, because potatoes really do have a short shelf life. Who knew? Everyone except the vice principal? So the vice principal decided to scrap the potato part of the program and go all in on just the pickle character education program. And, believe it or not, there were actually pickle companies in Illinois and Pennsylvania that offered to supply dill pickles for the entire upcoming school year. Unfortunately for this vice principal, the whole pickle program soured pretty quickly with staff and students and their approach to school discipline was still lacking in weight. Get it Pickles are sour, potatoes are carbs. Carbs add weight. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Oh, I saved one of those jars of pickles. I did. You can see a picture of it on my vice principal. Okay, moving on.
Speaker 1:Luckily, k-12 schools evolve at the speed of a sloth and finally realize they need to do more than just teach kids. So a lot of K-12 schools now have food pantries and clothes closets inside the actual school Because, let's be real, it really does take a village to help kids grow up that old school mindset of well I taught it. So if the kid doesn't get it, that's their problem. Yeah, it's pretty much dead. And if it isn't in your school it needs to be. And, like I mentioned back in episode two, public schools now understand that they have to teach the whole child, which means being all in and offering resources like food pantries to support students and families, and it also means teachers have to move away from that old teacher rule, students drill attitude.
Speaker 1:However, I once worked for a school administrator who took the food pantry and drooling to a whole new level. Bumfuzzle the administrator did very little actual work but a whole lot of entertaining. It was like watching a clown at a circus Plenty of laughs, lots of balloons, but absolutely zero results. One day I walked into my office and found Bumfuzzle asleep at my desk drooling office. And found Bumfuzzle asleep at my desk drooling with an empty can of baked beans sitting next to them. Yes, you heard it right. This inconsiderate clown had gone into the school food pantry, stolen a can of baked beans for lunch, stuffed their face and then promptly passed out in my chair, a bit shocked at what I was seeing. I just stood there for a minute, a bit shocked at what I was seeing. I just stood there for a minute staring and debating whether I should wake this dumbass up. I finally shook my desk and cleared my throat, which awoke Bumfuzzle, who then wiped the leftover slobber that hadn't already landed on my desk off their face. They then thanked me and casually walked out of my office like nothing had happened. So what did I do next? I threw away the empty can of baked beans and sanitized the hell out of my desk. See why I say you can't make this shit up.
Speaker 1:Anyway, it was pretty obvious that Bumfuzzle would do just about anything to avoid actual work. But hey, if you're a clown, your job is playful entertainment, right, and let me tell you, bumfuzzle was an expert at playful entertainment, at least in the eyes of most kids. The adults not so much. Now, bumfuzzle loved a good challenge, you know, like something straight out of Survivor or Big Brother. So instead of doing their actual job like I don't know, supervising students to make sure they're safe, this clown would get kids' attention by yelling random challenges down the hallway. I actually witnessed Bum Fuzzle organize a rolling competition in the middle of the hallway, and no, I'm not joking. This middle-aged administrator plopped down on the floor and started rolling past students like some kind of deranged tumbleweed. And, of course, once the kids saw this, some of them joined in. So much for school safety. But that was just the beginning. Deadlines ignored Common sense out the window, because bumfuzzle also loved a good rubber band fight. Didn't matter who you were student, teacher, secretary If you were in range when the mood struck, you were getting challenged to a rubber band war.
Speaker 1:Now here's the thing about clowns they love to have fun, but they don't always think things through. Case in point one year to kick off the new school year, Bumfuzzle decided to buy staff matching t-shirts, which, honestly, great idea. Except Bumfuzzlele and all their infinite wisdom created a brand new school motto, all by themselves. To slap on the shirts no discussion, no input from anyone else, just a lone wolf decision. And trust me when I say working in isolation is one of the absolute worst leadership strategies out there. Anyway, right before the school year started, bumfuzzle stood proudly in front of the entire faculty, grinning like they had just solved world hunger, and held up a sample of the new staff shirt. The second Bumfuzzle read the motto out loud. You could feel the collective gasp ripple through the library. The shirt said be where you're supposed to be doing what you're supposed to be doing somewhere near your ability I'm not kidding Somewhere near your ability.
Speaker 1:Teachers looked horrified, completely embarrassed that we were about to walk around with that stupid motto blazoned across our chest. But the students, oh, they thought it was fantastic. One struggling student actually came up to me and said is Bump a little stupid or something. Now I don't have to try so hard, I can just get by. This is going to be a great year and, honestly, the kid wasn't wrong. As for me, for the rest of the year, every time we had to wear that damn shirt, all I could hear in my head was that old mad TV jingle. You know lower expectations. If you haven't seen the skit, do yourself a favor and look it up on YouTube. Totally worth it.
Speaker 1:So you've probably heard the saying D's get degrees right. Well, it's pretty true. And just because someone's earned a degree in K-12 educational leadership doesn't mean they're the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean, especially when it comes to public speaking which, let's face it, a K-12 school leader has to do a lot of, and to actually be good at this task, a school leader kind of needs to be a bit of a wordsmith wizard to keep their audience engaged. So yeah, the ability to speak well in front of a crowd is pretty important. Now I'll be the first to admit, not everyone's going to ace the grammar or vocab game. But if you're a K-12 leader of teachers and kids and getting paid twice what I am, you should at least be able to string a few sentences together that flow smoothly like a perfectly aged wine. Which leads me to another story.
Speaker 1:I once worked for a principal who was the total opposite of Bumfuzzle. This textually challenged school leader thought of themselves as the vocabulary virtuoso of the school. While Principal Vocab knew how to drop some big words, they didn't always understand what they actually meant. And to make it even better, principal Vocab would get stuck on one word for months at a time. I always figured principal vocab must have been reading the Reacher's Digest Word Builder every month, trying to beef up their vocabulary to sound more intelligent. Spoiler alert. It didn't work, but it sure was entertaining.
Speaker 1:One semester, principal vocab got fixated on the word troika. Now, according to Webster's, troika is either one, a Russian vehicle pulled by a specially trained team of three horses, or two, a group of three, especially an administrative or ruling body of three. Got it Three horses, or a ruling trio, simple right. So, naturally, to pass the time during one of those painfully boring faculty meetings, I started counting how many times Principal Vocab would say the word Troika. The meeting usually went something like this People, principal Vocab would say, trying to sound important, we got a great task before us. You are a Troika that can lead your charges to higher knowledge. Within your Troika, you can build camaraderie that will carry your team and us through the year. Use your Troika as a support for not only you, but also for your students.
Speaker 1:Now, I didn't work with any horses and our teacher teams were made up of five people, so why in the hell Principal Vocab chose the word Troika was beyond me, not to mention I think Principal Vocab's record for saying it in one meeting was 15 times. I'm not kidding. I also worked for another educator-centric leader who was actually really smart and could drop a big word just once per meeting. And this leader actually knew how to write and speak in public. Impressive, right.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, this educator-centric acted more like a frazzled headmaster because, well, it was pretty obvious that the stress of school leadership was getting to old Frazzlehead. Aside from rocking motorcycle t-shirts accompanied by elastic waistband, flared skirts almost every single day, frazzlehead could be found somewhere in the building pulling their hair and crying A lot. Now, to be fair, they were working on their PhD, so I'll cut them a little slack. But let's be real, when I was working on my PhD, you didn't see me pulling my hair and sobbing in the hallways. That kind of breakdown belongs behind closed doors. Well, I did cry at work once, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, I think Frazzlehead was so deep into their PhD work that they kind of forgot about their actual job. You know things like supporting teachers and maybe the kids, but Frazzlehead was smart enough to realize this was a problem. So they came up with a solution Continuously feeding the teachers. I mean continuously.
Speaker 1:By the end of the school year, frazzlehead must have realized the teachers deserved something after being ignored for months. So ignored for months. So to celebrate May Day, Frazzlehead went all out and handcrafted individual decorative May baskets for each staff member and to top it off, they wrote an original poem yes, original for every single teacher. Frazzlehead then gathered everyone for a staff meeting and proudly read each poem aloud as the honored teacher received their special May basket. Sounds sweet, right, well, kinda. The May basket meeting went something like this I made each of you a May basket and personally wrote a special poem for each and every one of you. Frazzlehead announced proudly I ask that you sit quietly and enjoy the food provided while I read my tributes aloud.
Speaker 1:At first I thought great Frazzlehead is finally going to end the year on a high note. Great Frazzlehead is finally going to end the year on a high note. The staff actually looked happy for once. So I did my best to listen as Frazzlehead went through the poems alphabetically my last name, of course. The poems weren't bad and things seemed to be going smoothly, until the end when a teacher loudly pointed out that Frazzlehead had skipped the people whose last name started with the letter G. Now we only had two teachers whose last name started with the letter G and their last names ended in itch like glitch. You get the idea.
Speaker 1:And Frazzlehead's response was absolutely legendary. Oh, I know, I did. Frazzlehead answered confidently. I couldn't think of any nice words that rhymed with glitch, except bitch, so I left them out. I have never seen a room go dead silent that fast. The looks of pure shock and confusion were absolutely priceless. Of course, frazzlehead's response didn't shock me. Why Remember how I mentioned they'd been working on their PhD all year?
Speaker 1:Well, when Frazzlehead wasn't yanking their hair out and crying, they were parked somewhere in the building, glued to a computer that sat on a giant rolling cart. Okay, hold up, I might need to explain something to the younger folks. Back in the day, computers were huge and took up a ton of desk space. So if you wanted to move around you needed a giant cart. And since those beasts didn't run on magic, you also had to park your cart near an electrical outlet. That is correct. Anyway, if a teacher needed to find Frazzlehead, all they had to do was follow the frantic sound of keyboard clicking. It was like a sonar for stressed out administrators.
Speaker 1:The running joke among staff was that Frazzlehead was turning into Jack Nicholson's character from the Shining. You remember that one right Classic Stephen King horror movie. Jack Nicholson played a guy also named Jack, who was an aspiring writer. Throughout the film he's constantly typing away on his manuscript. Spoiler alert if you haven't seen it but when Jack's wife finally looks at what he's been writing, it's just the same sentence, over and over. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Speaker 1:Creepy as hell, scared the life out of my sister and me. I still don't know why my mom took us to see that my sister slept in my bed for weeks. Anyway, the scary thing for the staff was that in all that time we never found out what Frazzlehead was writing. We only knew that, whatever it was, it must have been very, very long, because Frazzlehead was seen typing at that big old computer cart almost every single day the entire school year. As for Frazzlehead, they eventually left the world of administration, earned a PhD and went back to teach in the classroom. Creepy right, I thought so.
Speaker 1:Speaking of creepy, I'm gonna guess some people think spending almost 40 years in K-12 public education is a little unsettling. I mean, who sticks with the same job that long anymore? These days careers are like a revolving door One year you're a circus clown, then next you're a podcaster, but just like a great circus act. Good teaching takes practice. That's why a lot of educators stick around to sharpen their skills and give students the best education possible. Then again, there are some school leaders who should probably find a different gig Because no amount of practice is going to make them ready to run the educational circus, just saying, wow, our podcast time has gone fast and I have so many more school leader tales to tell, which is why there is a part two to this episode. So folks make sure to tune in in two weeks for part two of School Leaders who Think they're Great, a comedy special. You won't want to miss the fun. Well, kids, the dismissal bell is ringing, so until next time on.
Speaker 1:Vice Principal in Office, push in your chair, put your name on your paper, be kind to your classmates, put your phone away and use your indoor voice, or not. Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoyed the tales from Vice Principal Unauficed as much as I enjoyed sharing them with you. And it is also my hope that you were not only entertained by this episode of Vice Principal Unauficed, but that you walked away with a little nugget of knowledge that gave you some insight on how working in a school is. Not for the faint of heart and, like I've said before, life is short. The faint of heart. And, like I've said before, life is short so you gotta do the best you can to leave the world in a better place than when you got here. And, of course, for the love of goosegrass, see the humor in life. It's a lot more fun and a little easier to get through the ick in life with a smile on your face. Trust me with what I've experienced throughout my career. Mile on your face. Trust me with what I've experienced throughout my career. I'd be like an arrogant, well-aged baroness, you know, like a classic cocktail with just the right amount of zing, if I hadn't decided to smile through the ick.
Speaker 1:Catch you next time on Vice Principal on Office. Join me, your host, lisa Hill, in two weeks on Vice principal and office for part two of school leaders who think they're great. A comedy special as I continue to dive into the unusual leadership skills some of my former bosses and colleagues used while attempting to manage the nut house. I mean school house, hey students, I mean listeners. Thanks again for tuning in and if you've enjoyed today's show, please leave me a review. It really helps grow the show. And don't forget to hit the follow button so you don't miss an episode. Trust me, you don't want to be late for this detention and listeners. If you've got a school story of your own that you'd like to share with Vice Principal on Office, I'd love to hear it. Just head over to my podcast website and fan mail or email me your story and, who knows, your story might even get a shout out on a future episode. Thanks so much for listening and for your support.
Speaker 1:Vice Principal on Office is an independent podcast with everything you hear done by me, lisa Hill, and supported through Buzzsprout. Any information from today's show, along with any links and resources, are available in the show's notes. So if you want to do a little homework and dive deeper into anything I've mentioned, head over to my podcast website and check it out. And a big thank you to Matthew Chiam with Pitsaby for the show's marvelous theme music and, of course, a huge shout out to my mother. This podcast is for the purpose of entertainment only, like the recess of your day, and not a platform for debates about public education Though you never know you could learn something. And just a reminder that the stories shared in this podcast represent one lens, which is based on my personal experiences and interpretations, and also reflect my unique perspective through humor. Names, dates and places have been changed or omitted to protect identities and should not be considered universally applicable. Until next time, keep laughing and learning.
