Vice Principal UnOfficed
Join host Lisa Hill, a retired vice principal as she shares her funny, wild, and sometimes woeful public education school stories that will not only leave you feeling like you’re listening to a comedy special, but wondering how the American K12 educational system endures.
Hill is a former teacher, school counselor, college professor, and vice principal who never planned on having a career in education. But, thanks to her father, god rest his soul, she did!
So, listen in as Lisa Hill reveals the crazy and entertaining K12 school antics that she experienced during her lengthly career in public education And who knows? You might just pick up a little nugget of knowledge along the way.
Vice Principal UnOfficed
Substitutes Gone Wild While Students Just Smiled
Vice Principal UnOfficed host Lisa Hill recalls some very memorable substitute teachers and the quirkiness they brought to the classroom. From puking to magic shows, there are some substitute teachers who seem to be able to do it all except for the one thing they were actually hired to do, which is teach. And while most school days went just fine with the classroom teacher absent for the day, every kid in the class knew which substitute teacher probably shouldn't be invited back.
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On this episode of Vice Principal in Office. Join me your host, lisa Hill. As I recall some very memorable substitute teachers and the quirkiness they brought to the classroom, from puking to magic shows. There are some substitute teachers who seem to be able to do it all except for the one thing they were actually hired to do, which is teach. Do which is teach. And while most school days went just fine with the classroom teacher absent, for the day, every kid in the class knew which substitute teacher probably shouldn't be invited back. Now let's get laughing and learning.
Speaker 1:Attention, students, I mean listeners. The stories in this podcast are told from the host's personal and varsical point of view. All names and identifiers have been omitted or altered to protect identities. Now get to class and enjoy the show. Hello folks, welcome back to Vice Principal on Office. Before we get started, I'd like to ask once again for your support with this podcast. As you recall, vice Principal on Office has been nominated for Women Podcasters Awards in Comedy. Voting is still open until May 31st. I've included the link to vote for this show on the episode show notes. So if you have a moment, please cast your vote for vice principal on office and thank you in advance.
Speaker 1:Anyway, it's hard to believe that it's that special time of year again you know what I'm talking about when seniors are half checked out and then underclassmen follow. Teachers are running on caffeine fumes and emergency chocolate and parents are bracing themselves for a three-hour graduation ceremony just to cheer on their surly senior for a five-second march across the graduation stage and or entertaining their offspring during a fun-filled summer vacation, margarita, please. And let's not forget the school leaders who are stuck on stage sweating profusely under their polyester graduation gowns. And yet, in the midst of all the celebratory chaos, you once again hear wow, this school year went fast, but did it For me? I think the definition of this school year went fast depends on which seat you're sitting in during the school year, because there's a lot of stuff that happens between day one and the last day of the school year, and one such thing needed to get kids to the conclusion of the school year are substitute teachers. Which leads me to today's episode.
Speaker 1:Now, as you've heard me say before, my career in K-12 education was quite the adventure, but when I left, I left. And yet people keep asking me Lisa, now that you're retired, are you going to become a substitute teacher? My answer is, and will always be oh hell. No, seriously, 38 years was enough. I mean, just listen to the stories I've already shared and, trust me, there are plenty more where those came from. Besides, have you seen what substitutes go through? One minute you're covering second grade art and the next you're breaking up a heated debate in AP government over whether a hot dog is a sandwich. Nope, I served my time Plus. After surviving senior prank season, last-minute credit recovery miracles and more questionable commencement speeches than I can count, I think I've earned my permanent hall pass. Anyway, can count, I think I've earned my permanent hall pass, anyway.
Speaker 1:Throughout my career in education, I often got stuck, I mean honored, with the duty of covering for colleagues when life decided to throw them a curveball. You know, sick kids, flooded basements, unexpected personal days flooded basements, unexpected personal days. Yeah, we all know what that meant. And did I get paid extra for my noble substitute efforts? Oh, of course not, but I'm a team player, so I sucked it up and did my best. And now, well, now, many schools actually pay teachers to sub. Many schools actually pay teachers to sub Not school administrators, but teachers.
Speaker 1:Why does shit always change for the better after I'm done with it, whatever Moving on. So keep in mind, I went to college to become a band director, so I was about as qualified to teach some of these subjects as a goldfish is to drive a bus. Sure, I technically passed my math classes, but let's just say the only thing I retained from calculus was a deep respect for people who understand calculus. And pity the poor kids who got me as a sub in auto shop, because besides pumping gas and remembering that my car needs an oil change eventually, what else do I really need to know? I know a lot. Luckily for me, most kids knew what they were supposed to be learning when their teacher was out. In fact, many were surprisingly eager to help me navigate the chaos.
Speaker 1:But I gotta tell you, over time I noticed a pattern occurring with my sub duties. When students were polite, helpful and relatively sane, it was a clear sign that their teacher ran a tight ship. But when the classroom turned into Lord of the Flies five minutes after the bell, yeah, that was a red flag. Now, before you start saying but Lisa, you worked at the school. Of course, the kids treated you better than a random sub. Let me stop you right there. Nope, that wasn't always the case.
Speaker 1:A class with no structure is a nightmare for any substitute, whether they're a beloved staff member or just some poor soul who got called in at the last minute. Because when there are no clear expectations for kids, bless their undeveloped prefrontal cortexes, kids default to testing every possible boundary. And here's the thing Any human under age 18 needs structure, whether they realize it or not. Their brains aren't fully wired until their mid-20enties. So loosey-goosey classrooms can turn even the sweetest children into tiny tyrants. But here's the secret Kids' bad behavior isn't just them being little jerks for fun.
Speaker 1:It's their way of screaming. They need guidance, consistency and a sense of safety. Need guidance, consistency and a sense of safety. Unfortunately, most kids don't have the self-awareness to say I crave stability and clear expectations. So instead they just act like feral raccoons in a convenience store at 2 am. Because kids can be shitheads, right, lisa Ann? This is why I have wrinkles. Oh, come on, mom. I'm sure there were times I was a total shithead, but knowing what I know now, a kid being a shithead isn't always their fault.
Speaker 1:Kids may be little jerks because well, because the adults around them aren't doing a very good job, whether it be poor parenting, irresponsible role models I'm talking to you elected officials, or topsy-turvy teachers, which includes special substitute teachers, which is why I titled this episode Substitutes Gone Wild, while Students Just Smiled. Of course, I really wanted to call this episode a bad. Sub is like surviving a reality show. The students have already figured out the winner before the show even begins. But tune in anyway Because, much like reality shows, you just can't wait to see what comes next.
Speaker 1:Now I firmly believe that most substitute teachers are a sacred breed and have a prime spot reserved for them in the afterlife. Why? Well, think about how you feel when you walk into a room full of strangers at a party Maybe a little shy, maybe a little nervous and then imagine walking into a room full of children for the first time, knowing that you have to keep these kids engaged and under control for at least six hours and you're the only adult. That can be downright frightening. Of course, the party might have alcohol to calm your nerves, but the school, yeah, that's a big no-no. Either way, both scenarios can produce a level of angst that leaves some people scrambling for survival, and I bet that's exactly how many substitute teachers feel every time they step into a K-12 classroom for the first time and in today's world, most adults wouldn't even think about becoming a substitute teacher. And, honestly, who can blame them? Think about it.
Speaker 1:Kid behavior displayed on social media is appalling. But, like I've said before, their poor behavior is likely a product of what children see in their world, and today's world seems to be lacking in its ability to model good behavior for today's youth. Still don't believe me. Turn on the TV or scroll through some social media posts. It won't take you but a few seconds to find grown-ass adults screaming obscenities at each other or bashing someone's head in and their car because they don't agree on some trivial issues. Good job adults. I'm kidding Bad, bad, bad adults.
Speaker 1:I think we all need to go listen to Stephen Sondheim's song Children Will Listen from his musical Into the Woods. I love the musical and it's a beautiful song. Here's a snippet of the lyrics for you. Quote careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do, children will see and learn. End quote, end quote. Anyway, you get the idea. Okay, where was I? Sorry, it's very easy for me to go on a rant. Um, oh right.
Speaker 1:Substitutes Okay, we've all heard the classic sub-pranks Students switching names, lying about fake assignments, pulling whatever tricks they can on the poor unsuspecting substitute. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was a pain in the ass for some poor sub back in the day. That said, most substitute teachers can handle a brat like me. But if you went to public school you know that even as a kid you could spot the subs who simply could not handle the job and probably never should have tried. You know, I've often thought about the people who went to college for teaching but ended up with a career subbing, or what I like to call guest star educators. They do a great job. However, there are those other guest star educators who I call subpar stand-ins. These are the people who probably should have picked a different career path. I think subpar stand-ins likely landed jobs because the state they live in is desperate for substitutes. So the state waives the teaching certification requirement and that's a little terrifying. If you ask me, I mean, would you go to a dentist who never went to dental school? I know I wouldn't. Anyway, that brings me to one particular subpar stand-in.
Speaker 1:The students called Mr Magic. Oh, mr Magic, bless his little heart. You see, mr Magic was a student favorite, not because he actually taught anything, but because, instead of following the lesson plan left by the classroom teacher. This guy would perform magic tricks. And he came prepared, because Mr Magic never went anywhere without his big scuffed up briefcase filled with you guessed it magic props. Yay, of course. By the time students reached high school, they had likely seen Mr Magic's magic show. So naturally, students became a little impatient with Mr Magic when sitting through his show for the 67th time. But being a seasoned performer that he was, mr Magic knew how to read a room full of high schoolers, meaning if he sensed frustration he'd switch things up to keep his audience entertained. Yay, at this point in the story you might be thinking ah, this is the part where Mr thinking. Ah, this is the part where Mr Magic finally gets to teaching. Wouldn't that be nice. No, that's not what Mr Magic did.
Speaker 1:Whenever Mr Magic noticed students zoning out, he'd reach into his large battered briefcase and start digging around. This part of the act always piqued students' interest, kind of like when Mary Poppins reaches into her magical carpet bag and pulls out a whimsical surprise. The children in the movie were captivated by this extraordinary performance and were left wondering what else might be hidden in that bottomless bag. But let's be clear Mr Magic was no Mary Poppins. When he reached into his bag of tricks, he didn't pull out something enchanting, nope. Instead, he dramatically revealed wait for it colored photos of his knee replacement surgery. I bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? As for the students, well, kids love gross things, so they were fascinated and, more importantly, they were thrilled to be off the hook for any actual schoolwork that day. Yay, actual schoolwork that day, yay.
Speaker 1:Now, at this point in the story, you may be scratching your head and wondering why did the school keep asking Mr Magic back? The answer is simple. Many school districts have always struggled to find substitute teachers. It might be the location of the district or the reputation of a school, or something else. In fact, according to the National Council on Teacher Quality, before COVID hit, teacher absences were actually declining. But once the pandemic took over the world, teacher absences skyrocketed, and that trend, while it has slowed, hasn't totally gone away. I know, I know the world was different before COVID, but so were kids.
Speaker 1:The National Center for Education Statistics reported that 44% of schools have at least one vacant teaching position they can't fill for a school year. So what do schools do? They call in long-term substitutes to take over until they can find a certified teacher to take the job. Anyway, if you think these teacher job vacancies are because today's certified teachers don't want to teach, well, there are also substitutes who refuse to step in today's K-12 classroom, which results in schools getting subs like Mr Magic. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, you get the well-intended but awkward guest star educator who tries to follow the teacher's lesson.
Speaker 1:But, as we all know, even the best laid plans often don't go as planned. Which leads me to a stumbling stand-in who kind of resembled Robin Williams' Mrs Doubtfire, except younger, very quiet, with long, straggly hair oh, let's be honest, greasy, unkept hair. Now I will say this stumbling stand-in seemed to take their job seriously and, as I remember it, the stumbling stand-in and I didn't talk much. Actually, I don't think I ever saw them talk to another adult, let alone me. But they always showed up on time and kids never complained too much. And let me tell you, if students don't like a sub, they'll let the whole wide world know.
Speaker 1:Anyway, one day stumbling stand-in wasn't feeling great but not wanting to let anyone down. They showed up to sub in a science classroom, and you know how science classrooms can be Petri dishes full of mystery molds, small, stinky animals and, of course, smelly kids. So by the end of the day, the combination of all those wonderful aromas had taken a serious toll on stumbling stand-in and full-blown nausea had set in. Now here's where the story gets interesting. Right before the last bell rang, I stepped into the hallway to get ready for hall duty another one of my favorite duties and that's when I saw a stumbling stand-in sprint out of the classroom at warp speed, hands clamped over their mouth, looking like a middle schooler racing towards the last slice of pizza. However, just as stumbling stand-in was going to pass me, they slowed down just enough to ask me where the nearest restroom was. I pointed down the hall and sat around the corner. Then, off, stumbling Stand-In went running for dear life. Now I know, you know exactly where this story is going. So, yep, yep, stumbling stand-in didn't make it to the restroom.
Speaker 1:Right there in the middle of the hallway, stumbling stand-in erupted, you know, projectile vomited all the way down the hall, around the corner and eventually into the restroom. It was like a scene straight out of a horror movie, except instead of blood it was rotten human gut gravy spraying across the floor like one of those yellow traveling lawn sprinklers gone rogue. Of course. I immediately grabbed my radio and called for a custodian, because clean up in aisle 6 needed to happen ASAP. Because clean up in aisle 6 needed to happen ASAP, before the last bell rang and released hundreds of kids into the puke-covered hallway. But, as luck would have it, no custodian was on duty yet because, in an effort to save money, the school district had cut back on custodial staff, leaving a lovely little gap between shifts. So guess what happened? Instead I had to grab the damn mop and bucket to get the human gut gravy cleaned up. I'd only made a couple of swipes across the mess when a kid ran up begging me to get them out of detention. Kid ran up begging me to get them out of detention. I stopped, looked at them for a second, then handed them the mop and said you're out of detention. The kid didn't hesitate and grabbed the mop and got to work Cleaning that hallway faster and better than any custodian or me could have done. When I asked the kid why serving detention was so bad, they told me their mother would have been furious to learn that her precious baby had received a detention. So cleaning up puke was a good way to avoid their mother's wrath. As for the stumbling stand-in, I never saw them again for the rest of the year.
Speaker 1:But that smell, oh my god, that was a hard one to get out of my nostrils. If you know what I mean. Speaking of stinky stuff, perhaps you remember me talking about how bad middle school students smell in a previous episode. Well, folks, I wasn't lying. Any kid in the middle of puberty reeks. I mean, the level of stench floating through a middle school classroom is right up there with the eye-watering aroma of a porter potty at an overcrowded outdoor festival in 110 degree heat. You know what I'm talking about. Think about it. That gut punch of a smell that greets your nostrils. The second you open the porta potty door and no matter how hard you try, it sticks with you for the rest of the day. Soon you find yourself sniffing your own shirt just to make sure you didn't somehow absorb the disgusting smell. And then for the rest of your life, your brain triggers that smell at the mere mention of the word port-a-potty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, middle school classrooms full of pubescent kids can smell that bad, which is probably why one time a substitute teacher set the classroom on fire. Now, before I go any further with this story, let me just say I felt bad for this sub. Like most substitutes, they had no idea what they were signing up for, but with only 180 days per school year, you'd think the odds of something going horribly wrong would be pretty low, right, nope? So one fine day, flame Fumbler ooh, say that three times fast. Flame Fumbler, flame Fumbler.
Speaker 1:Flame Fumbler was sent to a middle school classroom that had mostly boys. Hold on Now, before you start sending me nasty grams, you need to know. I'm a boy mom. I have two wonderful sons and a wonderful husband, and after nearly 40 years in education, I can confidently tell you how bad middle school boys smell, and I can also tell you how ornery they are when it comes to making bad smells on purpose. So if you're a boy mom and your son is, or was, perfect good for you, my sons were not. They kept life interesting and I wouldn't change a thing about them. But let me tell you there were days that they completely wore me out, which is probably exactly what happened to our substitute, flame Thumbler.
Speaker 1:The story goes something like this Flame Thumbler was doing their best to keep the class under control and hoping the kids would actually do the lesson their teacher had left behind. However, one boy had zero interest in schoolwork that day and, as kids do, he decided to liven things up with some good, old-fashioned middle school nonsense. So what did he choose? Farting, of course. And, as you can guess, the second that fart rang out the whole class lost it.
Speaker 1:Because, let's be honest, farts are funny Especially in the middle of a serious moment like class. But if you're a middle school boy, farting is next level hilarious anytime. Hell, even my own two precious little cherubs used to play the doorknob game. You know where if someone farts, everyone has to sprint to the door to touch the knob and yell Doorknob. Before the other people get there, the loser gets punched in the arm. Frickin' hilarious, right? Well, it is if you're a middle school boy or a grown-ass man. Honestly, I'm not sure boys ever fully leave behind their middle school antics. And now you know yet another reason why I was sometimes an exhausted mother.
Speaker 1:Anyway, flame Fumbler tried their best to handle the situation with dignity. I mean, who knew if the fart was an accident or not? Well, it wasn't, because suddenly a few other boys started joining in, turning the classroom into a full-blown fart orchestra and the original farter. Well, he just sat back in his chair, smug as hell, knowing he'd won. He wanted playtime and he got it. Unfortunately, as the farts kept coming, the stench in the classroom rose to that of a dirty porta-potty by now. Flame Fumbler was desperate and would try anything to mask the fart smells. So they lit a candle that was sitting on the corner of a teacher's desk. A candle, you ask? Well, school safety wasn't a top priority in the 90s. So yes, a candle. Keep in mind this smelly fiasco happened right before lunch.
Speaker 1:So the second, the dismissal bell rang, the class burst into chaos. Kids, desperate for fresh air, jumped up from their desks and literally threw their uncompleted assignments onto the teacher's desk as they made a mad dash for the door, while dragging Flame Fumbler along with them. And that's when it happened. Long story short, the fire department arrived quickly, followed the trail of smoke and figured out exactly how the fire started. Of course, when questioned, flame Fumbler burst into tears. Luckily, the school staff rallied around Flame Fumbler in full support, with a few giggles on the side, in full support, with a few giggles on the side. As for Flame Fumbler, well, as Wharton Norton from the movie Shawshank Redemption so eloquently stated, the Flame Fumbler up and vanished like a fart in the wind.
Speaker 1:And honestly, who could blame them? Of course I've worked with a few other substitutes who seem to forget what job they were hired to do at school. Like would you believe, I once had a sub ask me if they could use an empty classroom to practice their violin. On days they didn't have anything to do. I mean, seriously, their violin. And this wasn't just some random floater sub who got lost on their way to a band rehearsal, this was our daily sub. The school district had this brilliant idea to assign a substitute to every school building every single day, whether a school needed a sub or not, because you know, nothing says wise use of taxpayer dollars, like paying someone to show up and maybe be useful. Someone to show up and maybe be useful. So to make sure this sub-phony virtuoso actually earned their paycheck, we gave them the honor of helping with my all-time favorite school duties Lunch duty, hall duty, bus duty, phone coverage, all the glamorous gigs. But apparently some phony thought they could skip all that by. I kid you, not practicing their violin. Instead, like hello, were they auditioning for the symphony or just completely confused about their job title.
Speaker 1:Now listen, I was a music major in college. I was a music major in college and from what I heard coming through those classroom walls, let's just say the New York Philharmonic was not calling anytime soon. And of course I shut down that impromptu concert real quick because last I checked we were running a school, not a warm-up room for struggling soloists, not a warm-up room for struggling soloists. Clearly, sub Phony didn't love my directive because for someone hired to fill in for an absent teacher, they somehow managed to have one of the worst attendance records in the whole building, meaning we were hiring subs to cover for the sub. So guess what happened when the next school year rolled around? Our Dear Daily sub had all the practice time in the world.
Speaker 1:Of course I did work with some subs who were awesome at their job. They really supported kids and teachers and I appreciated the hell out of them. But uh, balking out substitute virtuoso, not so much. See what I did there. Balk, you know Johann Sebastian Bach, classical music. Well, I thought it was funny, I know, move on.
Speaker 1:So I once had a chance to work with one truly great sub who was an absolute legend. But over time I could see them slowly fading away and honestly it was heartbreaking. The fading legend had been an incredible teacher and when they retired they immediately signed up to be our daily sub. Sadly, I knew Fading Legend's time as our daily sub was coming to an end when they started showing up late to classes. At first I wasn't too worried, but one day no one in the school could find the fading legend. Eventually I found the fading legend just sitting alone in the teacher's lounge in the dark. I kindly asked if they were okay. As always, the fading legend gave me a big old thumbs up and in the most cheerful voice said you, betcha boss. I then reminded the fading legend it was time for class. They seemed somewhat surprised but quickly jumped up, apologized and hustled off to their assigned classroom. Now I thought it was a little odd, but hey, everyone decompresses in their own way.
Speaker 1:Throughout the rest of the school year the fading legend had a few more little hiccups along the way. Nothing that was intentional, just small things the fading legend forgot or mixed up. For example, one day I opened the door to the office fridge and right there on the shelf, front and center, was the fading legend's carrying bag and hat, just chilling with all the other food and drinks. Yes, I'm serious. So when I heard the Fading Legends family had finally convinced them to step away from subbing, it broke my heart. The Fading Legend had had such a long and amazing career. And if you still don't believe me about the bag and the hat in the fridge, check out the photo I put on my Instagram. You know, I really wish I had had the opportunity to work with more subs like the Fading Legend instead of the ones who were just there for the paycheck.
Speaker 1:Working with educators who are all in for kids makes the work easier and worthwhile, but me being me, I seem to end up working with subs like I don't know, the one that ran over a kid's foot with their mobility scooter. Yep, I once worked with a sub who, straight up, ran over a kid's foot during passing time. The kid yelped and the other students in the hall yelled hey, trying to get Scooter McTrouble's attention. In the hall yelled hey, trying to get Scooter McTrouble's attention. But good old Scooter McTrouble just kept rolling like nothing had happened. I mean, can you even imagine confidently cruising along on your little red mobility scooter when, ker-thunk, you hit an unexpected bump. Kerthunk, you hit an unexpected bump and then, instead of stopping to check what you just bulldozed over, you simply zip away, totally oblivious to the fact that your kerthunk was someone's foot. There's no way. That was the first time Scooter McTrouble had pulled something like that.
Speaker 1:Some adults should not be allowed to work with kids or drive a scooter. Speaking of not being allowed to work with kids, let me tell you about Boombox Becky. This woman's voice was permanently set to max volume, no off button, no mute. She talked louder than any human being reasonably should. And to make matters worse, boombox Becky had zero filters Politics, religion, you name it. Boombox Becky made sure everyone knew her stance. She was one of those people who made you cringe every time she opened her mouth and I hate to admit it, but 99 of the time.
Speaker 1:The moment I saw boombox be coming, I quickly walked the other way or faked a phone call. I know probably not my best leadership move, but seriously, if loud and wrong were a sport, boombox Becky would have a trophy case bigger than their sense of self-awareness, case bigger than their sense of self-awareness. Yes, there were plenty of other subs who had a lovely personality but struggled to get through a school day, and what I still don't understand is that you'd think a person who signed up to substitute would have some idea of what they were getting into. But apparently not, because besides the stories I've told you, I also had one sub burst into tears when a student swore, and another who signed up to teach PE and then refused to enter the gym because they were afraid of getting hit by a ball. I mean, what did they think PE was? I have no words for that one.
Speaker 1:Now, despite all these strange and funny stories, I gotta tell you subbing can be brutal and in today's world, public schools are struggling to find substitutes willing to take the job. Willing to take the job. According to John Roach, with the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, each school year around 600,000 substitutes cover more than 30 million K-12 school teacher absences. Yes, you heard me right, 30 million teacher absences. And Catherine Schaefer, with the Pew Research Center, found that there are around 3.8 million public school teachers in the US today. So finding 600,000 subs to cover 30 million teacher absences is kind of hard, not to mention absences is kind of hard, not to mention a substitute teacher's pay. The location of a school and a safe work environment are affecting where a sub chooses to work.
Speaker 1:I think we can agree that the post-pandemic world has really changed how people approach work and life. It seems like the days of work and then work some more are gone, unless you're a savage boss and think you can still bully people into working way more than they should. By the way, stop doing that. That bullying stuff has to stop.
Speaker 1:And while I like that Americans are striving for a work-life balance, I have to wonder how we can give kids the best education possible if the experts aren't in the classroom. I mean, the National Center for Educational Statistics found that after the pandemic, 72% of public schools reported higher rates of chronic teacher absenteeism, meaning a teacher misses 10 or more days of work during a school year. So around 30 to 40% of the 3.8 million teachers out there could be chronically absent. Remember, I've got weak math skills. So haters, keep your hate. And yes, I know life can toss you a health ball crisis at any moment, but kids are only in school for around 180 days per school year. Now this next part really bothers me. The National Institute of Education Sciences reported that 84% of public schools fully agree that student behavior was negatively impacted by the pandemic. So it makes sense that teachers need a break from school and the need for substitutes is at an all-time high.
Speaker 1:Regardless, I think I tried my best for the substitutes I worked with, because they did sign up to help the school. Well, except for boom box, becky, and like I've said before, working in a K-12 school is tough. Seriously it is. Kids usually spend more waking hours at school than at home, at school than at home. So dealing with kids who come from all walks of life every single day can really wear an educator out, and if you're a sub, it has to be even more draining. Honestly, I can't even imagine what it's like for a substitute to walk into a building full of strangers only to have to find their way through a maze of unfamiliar hallways and finally end up in a classroom full of chaotic, unpredictable kids, all while trying to teach a lesson they've only had a few minutes to look over. But that's what a substitute does every day. Well, minus the magic shows, scooter wheelies and setting the school on fire. God bless them. And nope, I still haven't changed my mind about becoming a substitute in retirement. Podcasting's way more fun. Plus, there's no lunch duty. Well, kids, the dismissal bell is ringing, so until next time on.
Speaker 1:Vice Principal in Office, push in your chair, put your name on your paper, be kind to your classmates, put away your phone and use your indoor voice, or not. Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoyed the tales from Vice Principal on Office as much as I enjoyed sharing them, and it is also my hope that you were not only entertained by this episode but that you walked away with a little nugget of knowledge that gave you some insight on how working in a school is not for the faint of heart. And don't forget, life is short, so you got to do the best you can to leave the world in a better place than when you got here. And, of course, for the love of God, see the humor in life. It's a lot more fun and a little easier to get through the ick in life with a smile on your face. Trust me, with what I've experienced throughout my career, I'd be like a deranged florist whose glare could wilt houseplants if I hadn't smiled through the ick. Anyway, catch you in two weeks on Vice Principal on Office.
Speaker 1:Next time on Vice Principal on Office, join me, your host, lisa Hill, for a two-part episode, as I share what it's really like to retire Not once but twice, from awkward goodbyes and farewell cakes to the emotional roller coaster of walking away from a place I gave so much to and sometimes couldn't wait to leave. It's all part of the ride. Plus, I sit down with one of my all-time favorite co-workers and dear friend, lynn Lang, to laugh through the moments we still can't believe happened. So tune in June 3rd for part one of Come September, I'll Miss Some of you, Trust me. Whether you're dreaming of retirement or just wondering who ate the last piece of sheet cake, this one's for you. Hey, students, I mean listeners. Thanks again for tuning in and if you've enjoyed today's show, please leave me a review. It really helps grow the show. And don't forget to hit the follow button so you don't miss an episode. Trust me, you don't want to be late for this detention. And, listeners, if you've got a school story of your own that you'd like to share with Vice Principal on Office, I'd love to hear it. Just head over to my podcast website and fan mail, or email me your story and, who knows, your story might even get a shout out on a future episode. Thanks so much for listening and for your support.
Speaker 1:Vice Principal on Office is an independent podcast with everything you hear, done by me, lisa Hill, and supported through Buzzsprout. Any information from today's show, along with any links and resources, are available in the show's notes. So if you want to do a little homework and dive deeper into anything I've mentioned, head over to my podcast website and check it out. And a big thank you to Matthew Chiam with Pixabay for the show's marvelous theme music and, of course, a huge shout out to my mother. This podcast is for the purpose of entertainment only, like the recess of your day, and not a platform for debates about public education. Though you never know, you could learn something. And just a reminder that the stories shared in this podcast represent one lens, which is based on my personal experiences and interpretations, and also reflect my unique perspective. Through humor, names, dates and places have been changed or admitted to protect identities and should not be considered universally applicable. Until next time, keep laughing and learning.
